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Is it possible to forgive even the worst offender? This is a concept that is easy to discuss but difficult to put into practice. Forgiveness is something that Inez Heller Jones writes about in her book, They Call Me Blessed! An Empty Nester’s Inspirational, True Story of Prayer, Faith, and Endurance. Although Inez has passed away, her daughter Carolyn Jones discusses the impact her mother’s story has had on many marriages - a story of love, adultery, pain, grief, and ultimately, God’s gracious mercy and love. Carolyn’s mother completely put her faith in God’s Word, and only then was she able to weather the major storm in her life. Inez’s testimony is a beautiful reminder of the love and strength God gives His children when they are faithful to Him. Inez chose to forgive and the ending to this story is nothing short of miraculous!

TAKEAWAYS
The most important lesson Inez put into practice: loving the person who hurt her the most
Inez’s story is about a great God who walks with her through the valley of the shadow of death
Inez’s husband fell for a worldly idea that he needed to live his ‘best life,’ but it left him broken and hurt those who loved him the most
Inez strove to be a Proverbs 31 woman

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Sometimes the process of forgiving others can make it feel like God has lost patience with us. We may feel like He has “switched teams,” or that He has more time for others than He does for us - but this is a lie! Forgiveness is central to the Christian message, says Brad Hambrick, the pastor of counseling at The Summit Church. He talks about the definition of forgiveness: canceling a debt. Forgiveness is telling someone, “Christ died for what you did, and that’s enough for me.” That doesn’t mean you have to excuse any hurtful action against you, but it does give you the freedom to let go of the pain and give it to the Lord. Brad also shares practical steps you can take when you are caught in a cycle of repetitive hurts inflicted by someone close to you. Forgiveness is ultimately a process that takes time and effort.

TAKEAWAYS
Forgiveness can take time because the person who has been hurt is often still in pain
The way out of nagging and ignoring is genuine repentance
Acknowledging wrongdoing is a key first step in moving toward restoration
Forgiving others does not excuse their actions, but it frees you from carrying pain or anger

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Forgiveness is a science. Don’t believe it? Just ask Robert Enright, a professor in Forgiveness Science. Robert talks about the scientific effects of forgiveness. It has healing power, and it is mutually beneficial to everyone involved, both for those who have hurt others and especially those who have been hurt. In Robert’s book, Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, he shares how forgiveness challenges you to stand up and see the humanity in each other and see the other person as God sees them. It’s a heroic act. Forgiveness is also a moral virtue, which means that it deals with acting well toward others. Forgiveness is the erasure of negative emotions and replacing that negativity with a positive way of thinking about the person who hurt you, without excusing what they did.

TAKEAWAYS
One of the key phases of forgiveness is the ‘uncovering’ phase, which focuses on examining the negative effects that injustice has had on us
Get forgivingly FIT! Think broadly about WHO someone is beyond a person who perpetrated injustices against you
Forgiveness is a choice
Forgiveness is heroic because it’s incredibly difficult to do, yet we want to be an example of Jesus to others who are watching

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Forgiveness isn’t between you and another person - it’s about wisdom versus folly. Brad Hambrick shares thoughtful insight into the freeing power of forgiveness. Brad is the pastor of counseling at The Summit Church, and he explains the difference between true forgiveness and bitterness. He also talks about the occasional need to draw healthy boundaries with those who continue to perpetrate hurt upon our lives. All of us are equally sinful, Brad reminds us, but not all of our sin is equally destructive. Scripture calls us into community with other believers, and sometimes we need their help to step into a place where we can truly forgive. Importantly, Brad points out that true forgiveness promises never to use someone’s transgressions against them in the future.

TAKEAWAYS
When someone tells you they’re sorry, believe them
Sometimes we use ‘oopsie-grade’ responses to ‘sin-grade’ offenses
Forgiveness does not mean that we don’t hurt anymore, but it does invite others to join us in a healthier lifestyle
Forgiveness accepts the responsibility of bringing a real hurt to someone’s attention

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